I
am exploring Buddhist psychology’s Four foundations of mindfulness
- looking into how to detect difficult emotions in the body as a
felt-sense. In the grip of an emotion, I can learn to divert my
attention to the felt-sense and away from reflecting on the emotion.
Thinking about how upset I am, how bad the other person is, who
caused it, or how can I lose this “bad” emotion - tends to
intensify and prolong the feeling.
Studying
embodied mindfulness, I am looking into how to be with my infinite
to-do-list, and compassionately empathize with the difficulties and
sufferings of others and helpful actions.
Princeton
University conducted a Good Samaritan study, based on the Biblical
parable. The subjects were seminarians, who were about to give a talk
on this parable, would pass a man slumped in a doorway, moaning and
coughing, on their way to the venue. Would they stop? The study found
that if they felt they
were late, they were less likely to help.
In the original parable, what motivated the priest and the Levite to pass by the injured man? Perhaps they were in a hurry and filled with important thoughts. Maybe the Samaritan, who helped the injured traveller was not? Or were the religious leaders filled with hypocrisy (unlike the Samaritan)? I consider myself moral, but if I saw that man by the roadside, what would I do?
Busily,
we move through the world trying to get things done. At day’s end,
when I look at my diary and I didn’t manage to do everything, is it
possible not to be fearful? What happens if I move the unfinished
items to the next day? Tara Brach, my teacher, relates a mother’s
email to her son: “start worrying, details to follow”!
Challenged
even as I write this, I notice my niece’s text “what are you up
to?” a hint she wants to chat. My 11 y/old son asks whether we can
work on something we need to do together. It is already late, my
tendency would be to say “I am very busy, can it wait?”. This
time, I paused, took a deep breath, checked-in with my body and the
sensations in my chest. I felt a slight ache, a tenderness as I
thought about these two dear beings who want my attention. What
matters most? How do I want to feel at the end of my day, or the end
of my life? More things checked-off for the satisfaction of
accomplishment? Or sitting on that rocking chair, where the road
ahead is way shorter than the road in the rearview mirror. How do I
want to feel when I look back to this day? This pause prompted me to
not brush aside my loved ones, just to get more done.
To be caring, to be kind, I have to pause and check-in with my body, this is the practice. During the day, we are pulled in all directions, attending to demanding tasks, to the responsibility to tend to the needs of others: the invitation is to take that sacred pause for just a breath, check-in with the body and inquire: what matters most?
“Do you pay regular visits to yourself?” - Poet Rumi
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